I became friends with Don Mester who was highly regarded in my Gay Steps Alano Club meetings.
I'm a computer programmer and Don had a laptop he used for email and other purposes. He didn't know a lot about how to use his computer and asked me to help him delete a file he received from one of his email buddies. He said he was afraid he could get into trouble if someone found it on his computer.
I said I'd help him and went to his house. He pulls up a picture file of a naked boy who looked to be about 13 years old - the same age as my daughter and her little boyfriend.
I was very disturbed and deleted the file immediately.
He didn't seem worried that this was child pornography at all. I was really upset. But going to the police didn't seem like an option since I had deleted the file so he wouldn't be able to look at it anymore.
He didn't seem at all concerned that the child pictured was a victim.
Later, I told Madonna who teaches at a very good University and has a Ph.D. in Educational Psychology and who used to teach grade school children. She was regarded as being very wise despite being a relative newcomer. She expressed anger towards me when I asked her what I should do. She said "I didn't want to know that about Don."
I wasn't gossiping. I was trying to get some help for a problem. Also, my best friend at the time, who taught behavior disordered children in middle school, had a similar reaction. She didn't think anything could or should be done.
These are the kinds of things that made me think I was wrong and crazy when I was in AA.
Fortunately, Don Mester has died and no longer sends or receives pictures of abused children for fun. I wish I had taken his email address to the police and tried to have him put behind bars for his crime. That I didn't is my fault. Plus I destroyed the evidence because I didn't want him to be looking at that poor little boy.