More Revealed's Own Horror Stories

Numb to Reality

Ciada
November 3, 2006

Extricating myself from living the 12 step nightmare, after 15 years has not been easy and started a few months ago.

I knew from the way I felt that I would not survive another year. I believe I have suffered from PTSD and resultant or combined depression, (traumatic childhood) and without change I would be one more non-survivor by, "their terms," that I could not or did not work a program. The, "they," is the body/unit of AA.

Real Conversations include:

Me: "I am in pain."

Sponsor: "Third step prayer."

Me: "I am struggling with xyz issue."

Sponsor: "Go to more meetings until you find the answer."

Me: "I am in pain."

Sponsor: "Go help someone."

The following is the personification of aa:

Circular reasoning: "Where is the hoe?" "Next to the rake." "Where is the rake?" "Next to the hoe." "Where are the rake and the hoe?" Next to each other.

Ciada