I was recently at an AA meeting and sharing my experience, strength and hope and mentioned that AA never got me sober. Anyway, a woman shared after me and said that she was confused that I didn't give AA credit for my recovery.
Recovery for me has meant going back to the chamber of horrors and rescuing that little boy who was so horrifically abused and feel the terror, pain, anger and guilt which had been locked in my body all those years.
Anyway, the guy that shared after this woman started abusing me, saying I was anti-AA and that he hated me. I told him that he probably hated himself and that I imagined he was quite mad, but wasn't aware of it.
All the people that shared, after him, were quite adamant about how AA had helped them and made sure that what I had shared was inappropriate and basically, I was wrong. The amazing thing was that I had been sober the longest.
Here I am sharing with these people that I have recovered from alcoholism and owed my recovery to Jesus Christ, not AA.
No one in the meeting mentioned how they felt, they read something out of the Big Book, and then discussed what they read, very much like being at school, very controlling.
I imagine, that some of the people in that particular meeting could be quite dangerous, like that guy raging at me and making me wrong. I imagine, if people are not dealing with their core issues they drink, commit suicide, or act out their rage in other addictions.
I'm not anti AA, if anything; AA has helped me deal with my own issues. I imagine, AA to be one giant dysfunctional family, and probably would have never have recovered, without it. I am grateful to AA, but I feel, that I need to move on. I won't be going back, because I imagine the people don't want what I have; being happy, joyous and free and a recovered alcoholic.