Hi there! Today, I am powerful, and my life is manageable!
If you haven't read "those poor brain washed sponsors" this will make much more sense. If not, then this, by itself, may offer some experience strength and hope to someone out there.
I got mentally prepared to call my sponsor on Thursday morning, as usual, at 720. I told her I was quitting, and to my utter amazement, she actually respected it! Also (and at the time I thought it was quite spooky) I got a call from another OA person about 40 minutes later. Both my sponsor and this person said things like "if you want to come back, don't let your pride stop you" and "I've been there..." and my favourite "The door is always open!" Yeah, I'm sure it is, just like the 7th tradition bag is always open!
The sad thing is - like some of you have said in your stories - many of these guys are gorgeous people, but just so shut down, brain washed etc by the programme. I highly recommend that you read the material in the library on this site, and trust your instinct if you have any icky gut feelings about which ever twelve step programme you are doing.
If you are doing a twelve step programme and it is working for you, then that's great, but it certainly isn't for all of us.
the other thing that really put me off, was doing that step 5: I didn't want to sit there and show my sponsor all the dirt on my life story, while making snowtex rich! While, I haven't exactly lead a perfect life - and who of us has - I just don't see what good it will do, to get emotionally naked in front of someone who isn't a minister or a therapist. I'd be really interested to hear from those of you who have moved on from a programme, who have done step 5, and if you've found it beneficial.
Oh by the way: it was really neat going out to lunch today for my grandfather's birthday, eating 1 piece of chocolate brownie, 1 piece of chocolate cake, and 1 piece of cheese cake... and I enjoyed every goddamn compulsive bite of it!!! lol Of course I don't eat like that every day, its just nice to be able to go back to being reasonable, moderate and realistic again! ;0)))